Back on Track

Every single post that I write upon returning to school could follow the same basic formula: 1. relief at being back on land and not in a plane, 2. homesickness, loneliness, being tired of traveling and transitioning, etc., and 3. happiness at being back here. And so it goes. So I am back in Indiana, after a relaxing, very necessary month at home, which was followed by a few days with some dear friends in the Finger Lakes before I hit the summer class grindstone.

I was all set to be grumpy and sad when my plane landed in Indiana. I was missing a whole bunch of people, fiercely (still am!) and was ready to dismiss the Hoosiers around me as too loud, too alien, too much NOT my people. “I don’t belong here,” I kept thinking, “but then, where DO I belong??” Never a great feeling to have, especially at 11 pm, after seven hours of airports and no food, with the last flight including a crying infant in the seat next to me (he was SO cute, which helped). One of the things that I find so unnerving about air travel is that it can be two hours later and BAM, you’re suddenly seven states away. As much as I am not crazy about flying, at the same time, everyone was so nice yesterday, from flight attendants to seatmates. And just as I began spiraling into self-pity, a friend picked me up, and we were so busy catching up that we missed our exit and ended up by some random warehouses south of Indianapolis, but rather quickly we got back on track, and made it home without further ado. I crawled into bed with a few pieces of very good dark chocolate, a present which fortunately did not get confiscated en route.

Today again followed the usual pattern of post-travel life—grocery shopping, cleaning, unpacking, visiting, and general unproductivity—I spent the last few hours at a friends eating apple pie and watching Bridget Jones Diary, then have a phone date scheduled in a few minutes, and later am going out to dinner with more friends. I’m spectacularly unprepared for class tomorrow (apparently I have homework due on the first day, and don't have my books yet! whoops), and my to-do list for on-campus things afterwards is huge, AND I have to catch the 7:37 am bus, which is painfully early, but—it could be worse. It could be lots worse. At the end of the day, I think what we all want is people in our lives who are willing to drive us to airports and pick us up there; families and friends who form the backbone of our lives; to love people and to miss them when we are not with them, but to know that they are always a phone call, email, or walk away from us. I have all those things, and holy cats, I am glad that I do!

As I type, Buddy Holly is singing, “you may be a million miles away/ please believe me, yeah, when you hear me say/ I love you/ I love youuu.” And, gentle readers, I do.